Godspeed Dr. Dobson

The recent passing of Dr. James Dobson marks the departure of a figure whose life and profound impact are truly worth celebrating. For many, including myself, he was a guiding light, a “signpost” pointing towards a life lived faithfully and fruitfully. As the Scriptures in Hebrews chapter 13, verse 7 instruct us, we are to “Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God and consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith”. Dr. Dobson embodied this principle, offering a life whose teachings and outcomes were evident, making him a person whose faith and lifestyle were well worth imitating.

A Young Believer’s Guide

My journey with Dr. Dobson’s teachings began in the late 1970s and early 1980s, a time when the internet was non-existent, and knowledge was sought through different avenues. As a young college man and newlywed in 1978, growing in faith and lacking a healthy family upbringing, I desperately sought guidance on what it meant to be a man, a husband, and eventually a father. It was during this critical period that Dr. Dobson’s film series, often shown in churches over several weeks, became instrumental. These films delved into biblical topics and, crucially, the roles of the family according to God’s Word and good health. His early work provided foundational insights that were profoundly important for me as I navigated these new roles in life.

Teacher, Psychologist, and Founder of Focus on the Family

Dr. Dobson’s approach was unique and highly effective. He was primarily a teacher, not a preacher or pastor, with a professional background as a trained psychologist. This allowed him to bridge the gap between spiritual truth and practical application. He possessed the remarkable ability to articulate a biblical worldview and then demonstrate, through a mental health and psychological perspective, the inherent wisdom of God’s ways. He illustrated how adherence to these principles fosters a healthy individual, a healthy marriage, and engaged fatherhood, while deviation leads to “natural diseases and breakdowns and dysfunctions” within ourselves, our marriages, and our families. Having grown up immersed in the Word of God due to his father being a pastor, Dr. Dobson launched Focus on the Family in 1978, bringing this distinctive blend of psychological insight and biblical authority to a wide audience. This powerful alignment of his teaching and his life was, and remains, a precious and valuable asset for anyone seeking to live a life worth imitating.

Focusing on the Biblical Family

His primary mission in life was unequivocally to focus on the family from a biblical ethics and worldview standpoint, illuminating the wisdom underlying God’s Word. His teachings covered a broad spectrum of topics related to family, emphasizing its foundational role within culture. He was forthright about the health risks associated with premarital sex, adultery, and homosexuality, explaining how these choices lead to “our own destruction” from a psychological perspective. Consequently, he championed a biblical vision of waiting until marriage and maintaining faithfulness within marriage, not only as glorifying God but also as being in “our self-interest”.

A significant portion of his work centered on the roles of men and women in marriage. Dr. Dobson felt a tremendous cultural need, particularly among men, for clarity on these roles. He dedicated extensive effort to defining manhood and womanhood, exploring the distinctions and responsibilities inherent in each. His work addressed questions that, over his “40 years of ministry,” have only intensified: “What it means to be a man and not a woman or a woman and not a man”. His book, Straight Talk to Men, which he dedicated to his own father, stands out as a crucial work in this area, offering a biblical vision for men’s roles as husbands and fathers. This book delves into vital aspects such as a man’s role as a father, his ultimate priorities, moral authority in the home, relationship with his wife, maintaining a “straight life” of faithfulness, balancing work and family, managing finances, understanding masculinity, emotions, and his relationship with God, even contemplating his own death.

Advocacy for Life and Special Needs

Beyond these core teachings, Dr. Dobson also passionately advocated for adoption, and notably, embryo adoption. He became involved in the groundbreaking story of Marlene Straggy, who sought an ethical solution to her infertility without the moral compromises she perceived in traditional IVF, particularly the abandonment of frozen embryos. When Straggy asked why she couldn’t adopt one of these abandoned embryos, Dr. Dobson, initially unfamiliar with the concept, consulted Christian ethicists. His conclusion was clear and impactful: “If they’re human beings, they are worthy of being rescued“. He then became a friend and supporter of Marlene and John, whose adopted daughter, Hannah, is now in her mid-twenties. This advocacy was pivotal in broadcasting the concept of embryo adoption worldwide and has even personally impacted my own family. He also championed the support for children with special needs and their families within churches and homes.

Dr. Dobson’s influence also profoundly shaped the pregnancy help movement. He was an early and staunch supporter of this movement, which gained significant traction in the 1960s and 70s as evangelicals, galvanized by his calls, began to flood its ranks. He consistently spoke about the sanctity of human life and urged Christians to “protect the innocent by helping mothers”. Focus on the Family, under his leadership, actively supported pregnancy help centers across the country, donating literature—”well-researched, highly accurate literature on human development or on options or risks associated with abortion”—to centers like those I founded in Boston. His ministry’s resources and radio program were instrumental in amplifying the impact of ultrasound technology on women’s decisions for life. It was a tremendous honor that Focus on the Family chose to publish my own book, Answering the Call, on responding to the moral crisis of abortion, bearing the imprint of an organization led by someone I so deeply admired.

Aligning Teaching and Life: A Powerful Example

However, what perhaps cemented Dr. Dobson’s status as a true leader to imitate, in accordance with Hebrews 13:7, was a pivotal decision he made in the late 1980s or early 1990s. By this time, he had become a household name among evangelicals globally, with Focus on the Family growing into a massive complex producing popular series like Adventures in Odyssey. He was in high demand, invited to countless conferences worldwide. Yet, he made a public announcement that he would stop traveling and speaking at conferences. His reason was profoundly impactful: he did not want to speak about the family in general while neglecting his own family. This demonstrated his commitment to ensuring that his teaching and his personal life and lifestyle were in alignment. This decision significantly increased my admiration for him and served as a powerful warning in my own life: “Don’t be teaching without practicing”. As Paul admonished young Timothy in 1 Timothy chapter 4, “Keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching. Persist in this, for by doing so you will save both yourself and your hearers”. Dr. Dobson chose not to save his hearers while losing himself, making a “very significant lifestyle change” to prioritize being a present husband and father.

An Enduring Legacy for Manhood

His legacy, particularly his urgent call for men to embrace a biblical moral vision for their lives, continues to resonate. His book, Straight Talk to Men, which I highly recommend, remains a cornerstone for young men, husbands, and fathers seeking to lead godly lives. This book, dedicated to his own preacher father who exemplified the very principles Dobson taught, covers topics critical to modern manhood, including a man’s role as a father, his ultimate priorities, moral authority in the home, relationship with his wife, maintaining faithfulness, balancing work and family, managing finances, understanding masculinity, emotions, and his relationship with God, and even contemplating his own death. Inspired by his work, I wrote my own book, Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart, to help young men understand what it means to be a man and an initiator in godly relationships.

Cherished Encounters and a Lasting Impact

I had the privilege of meeting Dr. Dobson three times, with one encounter about ten years ago remaining particularly cherished. At a gathering of Christian leaders in Texas, I had the chance to sit with him, thank him for publishing my book, and, unexpectedly, was asked to lead a prayer for our nation alongside him. It was an unforgettable moment, a profound honor to connect with someone whose life so powerfully exemplified the principles he taught.

Dr. James Dobson’s life was a testament to the power of aligning one’s teaching with one’s living. Like a master architect who not only designs a magnificent blueprint but also lives in a home built faithfully to that design, Dr. Dobson showed us the beauty and health that result from adhering to God’s blueprint for life and family. He has indeed “gone home to be with the Lord”, but his life, his teachings, and the fruit of his exemplary way of life endure, continuing to inspire generations to “imitate their faith”. Godspeed, Dr. Dobson.

This article is adapted from the episode transcript.